Episode 6 | The Shame We Know And Keep Silent

Fair warning — this one is raw. I said so at the top and I meant it.

 

This episode is about the shame we know intimately and never say out loud. Not the concept. Not that pretty shit that gets wrapped all nicely by the time the credits roll. But this is about the living, breathing, suffocating reality of it. The kind of shame that starts before you're old enough to understand what the fuck is even happening to you. The kind that follows you into every relationship, every bottle of alcohol you try to silence it with, every version of yourself you tried to burn down in another relationship that didn’t work out, and all of this just to stop feeling it.

 

I talk about November 2nd, 1994. I talk about what it felt like to wake up after that and think I couldn't even get that shit right. I talk about carrying it for decades without a single honest conversation with myself about what it actually was.

 

And I talk about what's on the other side. 

 

Not because it's pretty or wrapped up clean. 

 

Because I'm living it. 

 

Coming up on 12 years (8 years at the time of making this episode) of something I genuinely never truly believed was possible for someone like me.

 

The broken and the fucked-up, like me, don’t get happy-ass endings.

 

If you're still here, it did not destroy you. 

 

That matters a shit-ton than you know right now.

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